January 16th, 2008

Zod

(no subject)

I'm waiting out rush hour (and, to a lesser extent, the weather) before hitting the road.  When C-Monster got up this morning, we told him about Dad's situation and the grim prognosis.  I felt I had to say something, since I'm about to take an unplanned trip to SA in the middle of the week, and the truth is the best route in such situations.   There were tears all around, honestly, the most I've shed so far.  Five minutes later, he was playing with Legos instead of getting his school clothes on.  I expect a lot of ups and downs with him and I let the school know what's going on so they won't be caught by surprise if he has a meltdown.

Jane's got a must-attend meeting this afternoon and, right now, we just don't have a very clear picture of what's going on, so there's no point in us all piling into the car to sit and wait out the inevitable.  I'm going to SA to be there for Mom.  It may be a long stay, it may be short with a longer follow up in the coming days.  When I talked with her, she was (obviously) very upset, but in her typical Gayle Bretz fashion, she was focusing on practicalities, like how my youngest brother is stuck on a job-site in Louisiana right now and that since Dad's wish was to be cremated, they can go ahead with that and have the memorial later.  It's probably weird, but it's how she operates.

I think we're all on the same page about how this is going to turn out, it's just a matter of waiting now.  I should probably go pack some clothes now.
Zod

(no subject)

Made it to SA just fine and drove straight to the hospital.  My aunt & uncle were out in the ICU waiting room and took me back to his room.  I don't deal well with ICUs.  I don't think sane people are supposed to though, so that's OK.

Mom is handling this incredibly well.  She introduced me to his doctor and it's clear we're all on the same page about what needs to be done.  Which is to take him off the ventilator this evening and let things transpire naturally.  I know this probably reads horribly dispassionate and clinical, but, as my brother pointed out, putting him on the vent in the first place was likely more than he wanted.  Dad's already gone.  Everything that made him who he was is no longer in that body.  I don't have firm opinions about what happens after, if anything, but he did, and he held to them passionately.  I think that's enough.