October 12th, 2008


It's Not Every Day I Send Off A Cranky-Gram To A Grocery Chain

Those of you outside south Texas probably don't know what H.E.B. is.  It's a regional grocery chain.  Like lots of grocery chains, they have their own in-house brand products.  Unlike a lot of those chains, a good many of said products are actually produced directly under their supervision, using their own recipes.

One such product has been, for as long as I could remember, their French Onion Dip.  It was, in a word, sublime.  It was definitive.  It also was like unto other store-bought dips like Prime Rib is to round steak.

OK, that's a bit of a stretch, but there's a discernible difference in taste and consistency.

This afternoon, while watching the Cowboys game, I cracked open a fresh container.  It tasted...wrong.  The consistency was off and the taste was too sweet.  With a slightly processed aftertaste.  I looked at the container, to make sure I got the right stuff and saw the most dreaded words in the life of a food-lover.

"New Improved Taste!"

New?  Yes.  Improved?  Oh hell no.  Not even a little bit.  If I'd wanted Kraft French Onion Dip, I'd have BOUGHT fucking Kraft French Onion Dip.

I am deeply unimpressed.  In fact, considering that I've been eating this stuff for at least the past thirty years and it's one of my top two or three comfort foods, I'm fucking depressed.
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