I think I might have violated a couple of HP and/or Chrysler warranties when I was running through the Windows setup screens at stoplights, but I swear I never touched a button while the car was moving.
Took C-Monster to CiCi's, then Half-Price Books. For those who have an HPB nearby, they're running an additional 20% off sale this weekend.
I now have a michelada and quiet. This is a good thing.